All in the family

Living in Thailand one can never be sure what you will be
greeted with as each new day arrives. Take what happened to me
one morning. This conversation with my maid Tong was in Thai
(after a fashion), but roughly translates like this.
Nai: (Having been woken up after three hours sleep and not
in the best of moods) Tong, could you come here a moment.
(Maid appears at the back door)
Nai: What’s this?
Tong: (A little cautiously) What’s what?
Na!: What’s that thing on the floor over there?
Tong: Oh, that. It’s a baby.
Nai: I can see that. You know I can’t face babies before
breakfast. Where has it come from?
Tong: Down the road.
Nab Well, the sooner it toddles back down the road the
better. I might tread on it or something. Whose is it anyway?
Tong: Mine.
Nai: Yours? You must be joking. It’s over a year old and I
can’t recall you having a bun in the oven. They don’t just plop out
like that, you know.
Tong: Well, it’s not really mine.
Nai: Whose is it then?
Tong: It belongs to the woman down the road.
Na!: Shouldn’t you give it back to her?
Tong: She doesn’t want it. She gave it to me.
Na!: But you don’t just go around giving people babies.
Tong: Her husband ran off with another woman and she
hasn’t got enough money to look after the baby. So she gave it
to me.
Na!: Yes, but you haven’t got any money either.
Tong: But it’s cute. You don’t mind if I keep it, do you? At
least for a while. It never cries.
Na!: You .sure? That’s something in its favour, I suppose.
(Crutch makes appropriate funny faces and gurgling baby noises
— baby screws up face and begins bawling its head off.)