One of the more off-putting sights that periodically surfaces in Bangkok’s bars is a girl dancing with burning candles. As she bumps and grinds away, she lets the hot wax from the candles drip onto her body and sometimes even catches it on her tongue. I have never been quite able to fathom out what is remotely entertaining about this particular performance. It is encouraging to note that even the dancers themselves look suitably bored with the whole affair.
On one excursion to Patpong, I watched a girl launch forth into her burning candle routine. Although the establishment was packed, hardly anyone was taking any notice of this unfortunate girl apart from a Middle Eastern gentleman who was most enthusiastic. The fellow was frothing at the mouth and unloading baht notes like nobody’s business. Unfortunately in his enthusiasm he got a little carried away and thought it would be a good idea if he extinguished the burning candles with his glass of beer.
It wasn’t a good idea.
For a few seconds after the deed was done the girl stood motionless on the stage with beer slops running down her face and body, while the candles sputtered to keep alight. riot the most fetching sight … and she knew it. Then she made up her mind. She leapt from the stage onto the fellow, who was still clapping his hands with delight at the accuracy of his beer throwing.
During the next few minutes there was absolute pandemonium as Ms. Candle and all her mates got stuck in to the visitor in an effort to extract revenge for lost honour. Inevitably the fellow finally exited the place horizontally, not badly hurt but possibly a little bewildered as to what he had done wrong.
Perhaps tourist brochures could point out that throwing beer at dancers, whether they’re holding burning candles or not, is unlikely to be appreciated in Thailand … or anywhere else.
However, back at the bar everyone agreed it had been the most entertaining candle show for a long time.
Saying it with roses
It was late at night in a bar on Patpong. A Frenchman who appeared to have been over-celebrating was trying to persuade an attractive young dancer to accompany him outside for some extra curricular activities. The girl quite understandably didn’t want to know and advised him in her best French to buzz off. Looking somewhat dejected the Gallic gentleman proceeded to weave his way outside, apparently taking the girl’s advice.
No such luck.
About a minute later, the door swung open and in poured the Frenchman clutching a huge bunch of roses. lie lurched towards the dancer grinning. The girl remained unimpressed by this continental expression of passion and responded by calling him a buffalo. Undeterred by this apparent rebuff, our romantic Frenchmen, ignoring the cockroaches on the floor, got down on his knees and in classic style proffered the roses. Enough to sway any young girl’s heart.
This latest gesture extracted an immediate response from the dancer, although it was not what the Frenchman had in mind. licking up a glass of beer she poured the entire contents over her suitor’s head.
They did not leave together. But there were a few cockroaches with hangovers the next morning.