Nothing but the tooth

In most Thai entertainment places, along with overpriced drinks, customers are usually served heavily salted peanuts, popcorn or other allegedly appetizing items, whose sole function is to make you thirstier and consequently spend more money. Even if you loathe peanuts, it is amazing how many you consume when a plateful is shoved under your nose.
I was in one such establishment munching away quite merrily when I suddenly became aware of an alien object in my mouth. It wasn’t a dead peanut. There ensued a brief moment of panic as the rogue whatever-it-was threatened to disappear down my throat. This prompted a certain amount of involuntary theatrics featuring choking, beer froth exiting through the nose, and generally anti-social noises. The staff, however, displayed little interest in the foreigner having a paroxysm in the corner, presumably regarding all the coughing and spluttering as some kind of ancient beer-drinking ritual.
Finally, the alien object responsible for the whole performance shot out of my mouth and bounced across the table. There it was in all its glory — a whole false tooth. When I presented the tooth to the waitress, she had a perfectly logical explanation of how I had nearly swallowed someone else’s fangs. Apparently the cleaner had taken her false tooth out in the morning and deposited it in its regular resting place, one of the peanut bowls. She had then simply forgotten where she had put it.
Anyway, next time you are at a nightclub, do enjoy your peanuts…