Some menus in Thailand can be even hotter than the food

Anyone for ogsters?

One of the most delightful aspects of living in Thailand is the food and the knowledge that there is always a chance one may be confronted by new exotic dishes. In Phitsanulok, for instance, one hotel coffeeshop has given a whole new meaning to the concept of international cuisine. Its menu should set your mouth watering.
Casting our eyes down the Cheff’s Recommend section we are offered such delicacies as Sewed Spaghetti or Cardonglue Monte, both of which sound like an open invitation to spend the night in the bathroom. More promising, perhaps, is the Dianc Steak, although some customers might have reservations over the side-dishes of Potatocs Isauted veetable and Brow sauec. (Brow sauec is apparently a Phitsanulok speciality as it appears throughout the menu.) In what is allegedly From The Sea we are invited to get our teeth into Filled of sole meuniere, which is not, as first suspected, a smelly fertiliser, because it is sered with boiled potobacs and sauled swect peas, butter savec — a dish no lovers of potobacs can afford to miss.
If the delights of the sea don’t grab you, there’s always tlotentrees. A sure winner is Beef Strongganofts, an unforgettable dish which apparently contains sliec loinof bof.¬†For those who prefer more ethnic cuisine, there is the Thai-Chinese section of the menu and it is hard to resist the lure of Delieaccs voget able soup with mineed pock or Spiey shrimp of fish sooup flauored with eemou gsass. If that doesn’t satisfy your taste buds, how about Thai omdette with minced ports or Fried beef in ogster sauce, which at 28 baht is quite a bargain considering ogsters are regarded as quite a speciality. However, one might require a strong stomach to tackle Sauled spaueribs with gccrcle, which sounds as if someone’s had most unpleasant accident.
But when in doubt, all experienced coffee-shop gourmets turn to the sandwich section, or as the Phitsanulok menu puts it Sanwdwich and Specials Gord. What exactly is Specials Gord, you might ask? Well, as far as we can make out it is either a Hoseburger or Well Strect hot dogs, but in the light of nasty rumours about the fate of some of our four-legged friends, the latter dish is not to be recommended.
Which reminds me of a Thon Bud restaurant which, under crab specialities, was offering cancer as one of its dishes. For 40 baht you can have it fried, boiled or raw … take your pick.